Why Varric is not Romanceable
by LadyLefaye
Summary: Varric may have had good reason for excluding bits of information when telling his tale to Cassandra Pentaghast.


"I'm tired of your lies, dwarf!" Cassandra exclaimed with a frustrated sigh.

"Do you really expect me to believe that Hawke slept with EVERY whore at the Blooming Rose, that she wormed her way into the bed of every one of your companions save her sibling and the widow Aveline, and yet she never once tried to win your affections?"

"Oh, we were affectionate. But when I say she watched my back, I mean in an 'I'll kill anyone that hurts you' sort of way."

(…not that I don't have a _fantastic_ backside, worthy of being ogled, Varric said in an aside.)

"There were no stolen kisses in dark corners when we thought no one was looking. There were no drunken trysts in my room at the Hanged Man after we'd each had one too many mugs of ale. We were simply…comrades in arms. I can understand your surprise though. Many a lady has swooned at the sight of all this manliness," Varric added, steepling his fingers as a slow smile spread across his face. "Chest hair like this is a force of nature."

Anger flashed in Cassandra's eyes, and she looked moments away from slapping the smug grin off of Varric's face.

"This is the sixth time I have heard your tale of the Champion of Kirkwall. The _sixth time_. And each time the story you spin is different. In one, Hawke wasn't even female! But no matter what embellishments you add, the kernel of truth remains the same. Hawke was talented beyond compare, and she was a woman of…_appetites_."

(…_or man_, Varric added with a smirk.)

"I _know_ you bedded her. Why are you so reluctant to admit it?" Cassandra asked angrily.

"Is this _really_ the sort of information your superiors are looking for? Will knowing whether or not Hawke warmed my bed at night bring you one step closer to finding the Champion?" Varric asked with a shake of his head. "What did or did not happen romantically between Hawke and myself is none of your concern. I do not claim to be chaste…but I have never found it necessary to describe my own sexual exploits in my tales. It tends to ruin my chances with the ladies listening," he added, his tone turning husky and full of promises as he winked at the Seeker.

"This information _will_ help me…that is all you need to know," Cassandra said, the faintest hint of a vulnerable tremble sneaking into her voice at the end.

"Anything that might have happened between me and her is firmly in the past," Varric said gently. He wrapped his arm around Cassandra's waist and pulled her in closer. She nuzzled against him, her fingers idly toying with his chest hair as she lay curled against him in his bed. "And I swear to you, if some day a person comes to me asking to hear _your_ tale, they'll not hear a word of this delicious struggle as you slowly succumbed to my charms."

To prove his point, Varric gently grabbed her chin and forced her to look him in the eyes…to see the sincerity in his words. Her body trembled and her nails dug into his chest. He leaned closer, his mouth seeking hers, and for a moment she pulled away, her posture defiant. But when Varric's fingers began doing delicious things to the naked skin of her stomach (inching ever so slowly upward) she relented, surging forward and kissing him violently as a moan of repressed desire escaped her lips.

When they finally pulled apart (each of them gasping for breath), Cassandra let out a small, self-deprecating laugh and hid her face in the hollow of his shoulder. "Who would believe you anyway? A love affair between a Seeker of the Chantry and a dwarf? Preposterous!"

"Stranger things have been known to happen," Varric said with a knowing grin. "Oh, the stories I could tell you!"

"Perhaps another night," Cassandra replied with a small smile. "I find I have had my fill of tall tales for tonight."

Cassandra tossed aside their blankets and straddled him, her actions bold and precise, brooking no argument. In the dim light of the fireplace, Varric could almost pretend she was someone else. Her hair, her body…all so similar. Although nothing could quite hide the fact that Cassandra's eyes were golden amber like a cat's…not a piercing blue that could take a dwarf's breath away.

But that story was over, and this one was just beginning….


End file.
